Underground parties land cool new Nolita club Kenmare in hot water [the Daily News]
"New A-list hot spot Kenmare wound up in hot water after State Liquor Authority officials read about underground parties there in the gossip pages, the Daily News has learned… But that’s not how the owners of Kenmare portrayed the spot to the State Liquor Authority when it was granted a liquor license in early February… ‘We are paying close attention to them,’ said SLA Deputy Chief Executive Officer Michael Jones. ‘They are supposed to be operating as a restaurant.’ …Kenmare could face penalties as severe as losing its liquor license."
Huh. Is that right?
Well, hmm— what was that you said again, Gawker? Something about our original breaking coverage on the transformation of the former Civetta being "not true," right after you misquoted us and incorrectly paraphrased our bulletin?
Oh but wait, we do admit perhaps we were somewhat remiss when we later mused, "…what does ‘the new Beatrice’ even mean?" and subsequently suggested you were "narrow-minded, short-sighted… ignorant" and "asinine" for creating such a nonsensical description of Kenmare née Civetta in the first place.
I guess we should apologize. We kinda totally ‘get it’ now.
Gee, it looks like Kenmare may very well be "the new Beatrice" after all.
**See also (earlier):
• Civetta Closing – "New Concept" to Come
It’s Friday! Thank God… this fucking week is over.
Check out my dancing pecker.
That’s a bird, people. Get your minds out of the gutter!
Here is Adam Wiercinski aka Adam Jamroz. He was employed as a part-time delivery person for over 20 years at Mangia corporation, where he recently attempted to defraud the company by twice filing fallacious lawsuits. The strategy for his attempted multi-million dollar extortion Read more…
according to management, CasaLever is "still working out some kinks." it’s only their second week open so i guess that’s understandable enough. i think it’ll be quite fascinating to see however, exactly HOW they’re going to work out those kinks, cuz from where i was sitting, they have a whole lot to contend with.
i mean don’t get me wrong, you know i loves me some SantAmbroeus, but CasaLever isn’t quite the same (nor is it trying to be?).
anyways. sure i could go on and on and list each problematic issue one by one, but i won’t, cuz that kind of stuffs likely falls under "consultation" and ha ha ahaa believe it or not, it’s just not my job to tell you how to do yours.
but
seriously though, from one professional to another (yah, YOU– that’s reading this right now): it’s totally worth a trip for you to visit CasaLever as soon as possible— to see and experience all the things you probably shouldn’t do. and then perhaps visit again in a few months or so, simply as a great case study in how accurate is your erudite assessment, and how adept/astute your competition is.
luckily (?) there are a few really great staffers there at CasaLever. i hesitantly say "luckily" however, cuz—
sigh
really. really really truly. at this point, i am totally sick and disgusted to death by the pervasive phenomenon in this industry of underlings being more knowledgeable/proficient than their fucking authority figures. do some of you managers out there need to train UNDER your hostesses/waiters/runners/bussers? YES I THINK MAYBE YOU DO you stupid moronic cocksucking mutherfukkers. yes i get it, you’re super awesome at licking your boss’s anus or your daddy bought you your job or you flaunted your superfluous wharton degree in some dipshit headhunter’s face or whatever
but take your smug self-important uppity ass someplace else and get the fuck out of THIS industry for fuck’s sake already. yah i know, it’s not brain surgery and there are precious few jobs left where you can make enough money to actually reside in manhattan doing the work a trained chimp can feasibly execute, but please. you’re making the rest of us trained chimps look bad. even in your treasured custom tailored savile row suit. in short:
YOUR BLATANT INEPTITUDE IS PISSIN ME OFF.
oh whoops did i say all that out loud?
i meant to say: the misticanza salad with the poached egg and bacon "crisp prosciutto" was decent, as was the king-crab/sea-urchin crudo. the veal scallopine was eh and the "manila clams" pasta vongole was uhhh
different (especially since i’m pretty sure those clams were more like littleneck than manila).
enjoy!
yah so
afterward was a quick pop into MonkeyBar. it worked out great cuz after all the terrible things i’ve been hearing about MonkeyBar’s food, i so was not about to take an expedition to midtown to try and experience it for myself. but i love to see places with my own two eyes just so i can say i’ve been there, so it’s awesome that MonkeyBar is pretty much right around the corner butted up against CasaLever’s ass.
(and after CasaLever, i totally needed a drink anyhow.)
well. alls i can say is: fucking hell what a mess.
and i mean literally a mess my gawd CLEAN THAT SHIT UP can you? it doesn’t take much— just wipe the puddles and slop off the bar every once in awhile, throw away and replace the chewed up bevnaps, wipe down the bottles and face all the labels outward, get all that cluttery crap shit away from the goddamned terminal, and for heaven’s sake get rid of (or hide) those big ole ugly assed plastic waste bins.
geezus
oh FUCK did i just give away free "consultation" ??! gagh.
by the way— i didn’t spot no goddamned PXes, so what the hells is the point of even being here?!
i’m just sayin.
later, since we decided to stroll for a bit and look at the pretty buildings, we found ourselves in front of LeColonial.
awww remember LeColonial? how super duper hott it was, way back in the day? we couldn’t resist our nostalgia so we went in for another round.
and it still looks great.
it actually made me reconsider this thought that had popped into my brain in the midst of dinner at CasaLever ("ugh christ i would never ever ever open a restaurant in fucking midtown"). the fact that LeColonial has somehow maintained its warmth and charm after all these years was such an inspiration!
and the peoples on staff were very sweet, especially the bartender. i even managed to eat a whole plate of spring rolls even though i had absolutely no idea i was still hungry.
so hooray for LeColonial.
But you probably aready knew that from experience, right? Well, here’s even more confirmation.
Recently, former nightlife impresario Steve Lewis blogged about one of his many friends and acquaintances (as is his wont). Normally, his work is of the ‘take with a grain of salt’ nature – most preposterous and controvertible to those in and around the nightlife industry (comprehensibly), and most credible and tenable to – well, everyone else, I suppose (perceivably).
GoldBar’s Jon Lennon was the subject of the day on July 15, 2009. Steve Lewis’s article starts, "Nightclub 101: the door is everything." LOL! Yea, as you can well imagine, it only goes downhill from there.
The column proceeds with Lewis’s typical flotsam and bullshit jetsam, most notably in the precise words "consummate pro" to describe Doorman Lennon. It culminates with these sentiments, expressed by Lennon himself in a Q&A interview:
SL: Tell me how you educate a person.
JL: I just have a brief conversation with them. I even have taken people to the side to do it, where I say, I know you’re a nice guy, your girlfriend is very beautiful, your two friends I can’t do….
SL: You wake up in the morning and you’re doing the door, and you’re thinking…
JL: Always. That’s my personality anyway, thinking about it. I try to remember, “you’re a doorman, as much as you’re in a powerful position, you’re still just a doorman, you’re everyone’s equal.” It never gets to my head because I’d rather be a rock star…
From what I gather, this is where a certain reader (we happen to know) lost her shit. She addresses Steve Lewis via Facebook, stating:
[Abbe Diaz at 5:42pm July 15]
um, excuse me? "consummate pro"– OH RILLY.
sorry, i would never ever ever ever in a million years define telling a prospective patron [at 10PM]: "well, if he owns seven restaurants in manhattan then he can afford to take care of ME. is he asking ME for a favor? then he needs to take care of ME."
(and yes that’s a DIRECT QUOTE)
as the act of a "consummate pro."
The rest of the exchange, including Lennon’s (pedestrian and idiotic) response is here.
Yeah yeah, OK. A doorman is a stupid idiot. It’s because you couldn’t get in, right? Loser! What’s your point, Vanilla Ice? I’ve got the Media holding on Line 1, and they want to know where’s the newsflash already.
Hey, did you read the title? My point is Jon Lennon is a Tool Box. I just wanted to brag again about how brilliant I am (I’m also the "Trollai Llama" in case you didn’t know) and point out how absurdly, hilariously (and contemptibly) it all played out [scroll down the comments, starting with abbe diaz's on July 29, 2009 4:54PM].
L O fucking L. God bless teh internets.
OMG the hipsters are taking over. ugh. gagh. blergh. BLECCCH.
last night was dinner at one of my favoritest places. and can you fucking believe it– one of my most UNfavoritest creepfaces on the planet was there. what the fuck. shouldn’t he be on a stoop or a rooftop or in some internet cafe or some shit in brooklyn somewheres? i mean– SURELY the west village is too bourgeois for him, no? GO AWAY JERKHEAD.
yah so
there i am trying to enjoy my dinner at my regular weekly haunt when, lo and behold, who should come and plop his dorky ass at the table right behind me. gabriel "dweebface" snyder. nice sneakers, scrotumhead. whassa matter– Goodwill was out of Hush Puppies?
so right away (after i suppress the bile bubbling forth and ingurgitate my cud and overcome my gag reflex and roll my eyes into my head) i say to my date: "eew. that’s gabriel snyder." and then i explain who gabriel snyder is.
my date responds: "ohhhh… should i say something to him?" and starts to rise out of his seat.
but i stop him.
why?
because (aside from the fundamental axiom he shouldn’t fight my battles for me) gabriel-snyder just happens to be sitting with richard-johnson, paula-froelich, corynne-steindler, chris-wilson, tom-sykes, and a half dozen other gawd only knows who elses. in other words, ya know– i was suddenly overwhelmed by visions of an imperial shihtzu in a pool of piranhas, if you hear what i’m sayin.
some other time, gabriel-snyder.
BITE ME, BITCH.
** See also: The UPDATE on Gabriel Snyder**
= "personne extraordinaire"