PX This.

Get. A Load. Of Me.

:)

SHALL WE PLAY A GAME ?

In honor of the just-released e-book (and the soon-to-be-released print version) of PX This – The Revised Edition and PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This, let’s see if you’re knowledgeable enough to play Where Are They Now?

Winners will receive a FREE e-version of PX This – The Revised Edition and an affectionate pat on the ass. Answers will be displayed at the bottom of this page (hey, no peeking!). If your answers are ‘close enough,’ click here to collect your e-book prize immediately! Yay! Just kidding about the pat on the ass, sorry.

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to correctly identify the current whereabouts of some of the ‘characters’ in PX This. As always, should any member of the F&B force be caught or killed, pee ex this dot com will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This web page will not self-destruct, but shall remain in the cosmos internets from now until the end of the world. Good luck.

Where Are They Now?

• eric-goode and sean-macpherson

• brian-mcnally

• "emil the maiterdee"

• "kamil the maiterdee"

• ben-affleck aka the *mackdaddy*

• Ferret

• "philippe the GM"

• "johnny the floor manager"

• marc-bagutta

• maxwell

• "laurent the GM"

• "alina the Balthazar maiterdee"

• gwyneth-paltrow aka gwyneth-paltroll

• Loser

[Scroll down for the answers.]

• eric-goode and sean-macpherson:
Well like, duh, who doesn’t know where they are? Only in like the hottttest restaurant in the wooorld! Eric Goode is also loving on the turtles (go, Eric!) and Sean MacPherson is… around. No really, he’s everywhere. Check over your left shoulder; he might be there right now.

• brian-mcnally:
Uggh. Let’s not start this again, shall we?

• "emil the maiterdee":
Evidently, looking at The Fedora with Graydon Carter.

• "kamil the maiterdee":
Evidently, getting media attention just for falling down. Go, boy.

• ben-affleck aka the *mackdaddy*:
The future Senator Affleck is out saving babies and the world, thank you very much. What the hell are you doing with your life, creep?

• Ferret:
Oh, "Ferret." "Ferret" finally gets a ‘real’ name in the upcoming PX This Too. You’ll be happy to hear that abbe and "Ferret" have… umm… kissed and made up. Hooray!
Actually, we really have no idea what "Ferret" is up to these days, since his awesome, adorable boss just got promoted to Superstar Banker of Deutsche Bank / Tyra Banks Yummy Man Candy. When you bump into "Ferret" out and about (and you will), just ask him yourself.

• "philippe the GM":
We love you, Philippe! That is all.

• "johnny the floor manager":
Well like, duh, who doesn’t know where he is? Only in like the hottttest restaurant in the wooorld! We haven’t seen him lately though, because we can’t get past the doorman. Seriously.

• marc-bagutta:
Here. No further comment… until PX This Too of course.
:)

• maxwell:
Come on now.

• "laurent the GM":
After a brief stint as the GM on restaurant-based reality television show
Rocco’s, and then opening a restaurant of his own, Laurent can be found these days in a lovely place like this.

• "alina the Balthazar maiterdee":
Oh, just here.

• gwyneth-paltrow aka gwyneth-paltroll:
Rilly? Does anybody actually give a shit? We find that very hard to believe.

• Loser:
Ha ha ha ha wooo child. No further comment— what fun would that be? But, thanks for the new fans, homeslice! Godd bless the googles.

So, did you win, did you win?! Good for you, you smart little cookie, you. Get it, girl.

• Friday, November 20, 2009. 9:30PM – Stephen Gan, Glenn O’brien, Andre Balazs, Jacqueline Schnabel, Ann Dexter-Jones, Geoffrey Zakarian, Jason Pomeranc, Kenny Kenny, Ronnie Madra, Richard Johnson & Sessa Von Richtofen, Anna Sui, Willem Dafoe, Lauren Ezersky, Lyor Cohen, Tory Burch, Carmen d’Alessio, Merv Matheson, Marc Bagutta, Sean MacPherson, John MacDonald, George Wayne, Steven Greenberg, Sasha Muniak, Liev Schreiber & Naomi Watts, Kamil Parchomienko, Heikki Sorsa, and (of course) Nadine Johnson, Jean-Marc Houmard, Huy Chi Le, Jorg Rae, and Susan Wanzer at the Indochine 25th Anniversary Party.

• Friday, November 20, 2009. 11:50PM – Michael Bay, Caroline Murphy, Liev Schreiber, Thom Filicia, Greg Callejo, Heikki Sorsa, Sasha Muniak, and Kevin King at The BoomBoom/BonBon at the Standard Hotel.

The Boom Boom Room
(or whatever it’s called) at The Standard Hotel

yah so by now you’ve heard so much about the BoomBoom, you probably feel like you’ve already been there, yes?
slow down, skippy. it’s worth a real live flesh and blood visit anyways. that shit is hott.

sigh. if you can get in.

but fear not, bitches. it’s actually not as hard as everybody makes it out to be. not for YOU, anyways. cuz gawd knows you wouldn’t even be here reading this right now if you weren’t fabulous, am i right?

don’t get me wrong, it CAN be a bit of a chore if you don’t have the skinny, of course. so here’s the 411 google.

it aint open at 4PM, 6PM, or even 8PM. anymore. (for now.)
apparently it opens at 9PM. you’re welcome.
cuz fer sure you were not about to get that information by asking anybody working inside the hotel or the restaurants. holy oh my shit— they are so fucking cryptic about it (ugh bloggers ruin everything!), it’s like fucking fort knox up in that mutherfukker. nobody knows what the hells is going on. or at least they don’t want to tell you what the hells is going on. even the really nice doorman who goes and asks three different peoples on your behalf what the hells is going on will only come back to tell you he doesn’t know whether or not anybody knows what the hells is going on.

and when somebody finally offers up the morsel of information "if the red light is on, it’s open"— that’s a lie.

and to top it all off, no joke— the DOZEN OR SO peoples employed at theStandard you’re very well acquainted with personally— all have the fucking night off.
GAAUGH.

but it’s okay it’s all good.

cuz when you eventually figure out IT OPENS AT 9PM, you will subsequently suddenly find people at the side entrance who are more than happy to accommodate you, and your ass will breeze right through like it was never a damned problem in the first place.

ha ha ahaa umm if you "belong" that is?
siiiigh what can i tell you. if you are even bothering to wonder right now whether or not you "belong" then maybe save yourself the hassle and stay yer ass at home.

oh but here’s a little bit of a tip for you (even if you do "belong"):

see, supposedly even agyness-deyn was turned away last week. now—
if you’ve ever seen agyness-deyn runnin round town as is her wont, then you know homegirl dresses like a typical brooklyn broke assed homeless hipster street urchin.
well, sorry bitches. supermodel or no supermodel, BoomBoomRoom clearly aint feelin your st.mark’s place fedora. they don’t think your canvas converse are cute OR ironic.

all you have to do is take one look at the room to know this. every man who works there is wearing a tie. yah even kamil-parchomienko— and i would bet cash money he never even OWNED a necktie before the BoomBoomRoom opened.
so ya know. if you really wanna go, work it out.

oh and by the way. contrary to popular belief, "knowing" kamil-parchomienko aint gonna help you get in AT ALL. cuz you can’t get that boy on the horn for anything, i don’t care how many times he’s called you "baybee."
once you get inside though, oh! it’s so so nice to see him.

and everybody else too. seriously, that crowd is fierce.

anyhoo. i left right when it started to get really boisterous around 11:30PM, but i still got to see owen-wilson sitting at the bar. (okay fine— HE can dress like shit if he wants to. but he’s owen-wilson and you’re not.)

**check the latest UPDATE on “the BoomBoom.”**

hey remember when i said everybody is travelling this month? well in honor of peoples gallivanting alls over the globe when they should really probably be back home honoring all their responsibilites and whatnot, PX This is proud to bring you the second installation of our new, ongoing TRAVEL SERIES…

… wherein some of the coolest and most important peoples in NYC’s F&B/Nightlife world share a bit of their glorious travel experiences with YOU. yay!
and when i say "coolest" and "most important," i’m not kidding. ha aha ahaa for serious now, if you don’t recognize some of the upcoming names of the contributors to the Travel Series— ummmm… well… you might kinda have to finally face the reality that you are decidedly NOT a PX in this town, mutherfukker.
[oh okay--- there's a possibility you totally are PX, but you just don't recognize the NAMES, cuz you're either too busy being self-absorbed, or your gracious hosts have just been too modest (and/or scared of you) to introduce themselves (and/or give you their real names). fair enough.]

so. without further ado, a treat for your eyeballs instead of your other senses (for a change) from the people who really truly make F&B/Nightlife/Hospitality the experience you so immensely enjoy.

Party in Punte del Este — by Rocco Ancarola

Clos Roche Blanche Vineyard, Loire — by Laurent Saillard

Rainbow Over Vineyard — by Laurent Saillard

Miami — by Kamil Parchomienko

Tanzania — by Wesley Wang

Tanzania 02 — by Wesley Wang

yah so. everybody’s been buzzing bout theBoomBoom! and evidently, pxthis was no exception (it also seems we were the ones who got the information correctly the quickest, but hey what else is new).

then apparently yesterday, our ole buddy steve-lewis (and then grubstreet) broke the news "Kamil Parchomienko will handle the room…" !!

wow! and yay!

those of us who know and love and/or remember former original subMercer GM/Maitre d’ kamil-parchomienko (also of MercerKitchen, SunsetBeach, StandardMiami, and StandardLA) are of course totally delighted that kamil, the prodigal son, has returned to NYC after a loooong time away. hooray!
oh but i kinda feel a little bad for him though, cuz i don’t know whether or not kamil will appreciate his name being alls out there right before he is about to open the hottest spot in town. i mean like for example,
we alls know the WaverlyInn’s emil-varda has a fake name (and business cards). i also know two of my pals who run LaEsquina refrain as best they can from giving out their names too. and for sure, back in the day, i rarely ever gave peoples my real name either.
not that "the press" ever gave a shit who the GM or Maiterdees were before, so that’s a new one, but whatever.
but i digress.

anyhoo. steve-lewis goes on to describe "They want to do two seatings, 4–9 for small plates and 10–2/3 for late night. Super high-end Rainbow Room/Rose Bar/Windows on the World style $18–25 drinks and DP by the glass…"

wow again! and uhhh… kinda… THANK GAWD (?!)
i don’t know about you, but i’m a little sick of places that only cater to young unkempt insomniac kids whose trust funds haven’t quite kicked in yet. not that i ever went to any of those places (mostly cuz ha ahaa i couldn’t get in), but i just think it’s really really great somebody is finally thinking of us "olds" (ya know— the ones with TASTE) and giving us a place we can go and have fun before one o’clock in the fucking morning.

oh! yah— and since you were wondering
the answer is YES! that’s the kamil you’re thinking of. of course it is! who else would it be.
he’s also one half the character "michael" in the series (the other half is current BlueHill@StoneBarns GM, philippe-gouze) and if all goes well, he’ll be played by actor (and former clubUSA bartender) darren-kendrick.

hmmm how many is that now? ha ha ha ahaa haaah i’ll give a crisp new benjamin to the first person who can correctly identify every person in the book who now works at theStandard.