PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Wow, the hostesses (an army of them!) are really friendly.
And also: Huh, this is… different? Especially for this part of town.
Please rate the Bar:
Not bad. Spacious, clean, commodious. If I lived and/or worked in the area, I’d come here.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Fine, I suppose. The cocktails list is relatively diverse, if not exactly inventive. Odd choice of "calls" mentioned in the recipes, though. Then again, it’s a W— so there is that.
Oh damn, I forgot to look at the wine list (the space isn’t quite conducive to it). Then again, it’s a W— so I’m sure I’ve already seen the list in some other hotel.
Please rate the Dining Room:
I gather there must be a whole other dining room upstairs, because the "dining room" downstairs is rather small (the bar takes up most of the expanse).
But as for downstairs, I rather like it. Personally, I find the artwork doodles on the walls really appealing (very Mama Shelter. Or ya know, Trattoria Bagutta maybe).
Please rate the BOH:
Very good. Sorry, Laurent! I was wondering if I’d detect your umm "absence," but uh… no, I don’t. Granted, the menu is hardly creative, but the execution is outstanding (particularly for a place that just opened). It’s probably not everybody’s cup of tea— if you only dine out once a month or less, it’s likely not the place for you. If, however, you eat out nearly every day, it’s perfect. Any place that has the balls to serve sandwiches for dinner is OK by me. (Then again, it’s a hotel… and a W no less, so maybe I’m giving the BOH too much credit for their courageousness). But seriously though, I don’t know how many nights I’ve said to myself, "I wish there were a nice quality place where I could go and just have a really good sandwich (and no, I don’t mean a fucking burger) and a solid first-rate drink. In a cool environment." I defy you to come up with a place. E-mail me if you think of one.
How was the staff?
Very good. Overall, enthusiastic, proficient, and conscientious. Everyone. Even the busboy.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Deviled Eggs with Tabasco : Scrumptious. Fresh. Flavorful. And not a bad price at all for three (overstuffed) halves.
Caesar Salad : Oh, be quiet. Caesar Salad is a great way to evaluate a BOH’s standards. You would be amazed (or not) how many places can fuck up a Caesar Salad, and badly. Especially hotels.
But, this one passes the test with flying colors. I mean, are those actually finely chopped white anchovies mixed into the dressing? I was starting to think they threw out that recipe in all the culinary schools.
Even the croutons are good.
Tuna Tartare : Yah, are you seeing the pattern in the menu here? Whatever, it’s delicious. Very fresh. A little overkill on the ice platter maybe, but I can live with it.
Strip Steak : Very good. Nice quality, tender, perfectly cooked. Tasty "cognac green-peppercorn sauce." Pretty fairly priced at $34.
Sauteed Creamy Spinach : Not so creamy actually. The only item that didn’t quite impress me. Decent flavor but too-mushy texture. I mean, come on— anybody who orders creamed spinach is obviously not afraid of cream, butter, or calories. Don’t get all scaredy-cat and wishy-washy with the stuff. Better to offer the options of "with cholesterol" or "without" instead.
What did you like?
It was pretty much all satisfactory.
What did you dislike?
It’s sooooo far away! What the hell is Albany Street?
What was your last impression?
Oooh, Paul Liebrandt! Third time now…
Would you come back?
If it weren’t so far away, I’d probably come once a week. No, seriously.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, it was a pleasure.
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Cute. Oops, and… hot. Opening pains, no AC. But the jumbo industrial fans seem to be doing a decent job, considering. (Or ha ha, maybe I’m just grateful for the effort. Come on, Paris— get your shit together. These guys are European; now you really have no excuse.)
Please rate the Bar:
Decent. On the small side, but accommodating enough. Clean, organized, and the bartender is proficient if not particularly effusive.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Good. Usually, I’m a vodka/rocks kind of guy, but lately this interminable heatwave has me really appreciating outdoor cafés in the midday hours. What’s more refreshing than an aperitivo when the sun starts to subside? You’re throroughly wilted; now you need a pick me up.
Anyway, my point is: I’ve gained a fondness for the various Aperol/Cynar concoctions around town— and La Gazzetta’s ‘La Gazzetta’ is no exception. Made with rum and crushed wild cherries, it won me over at the first sip. The fresh watermelon margarita was good, too. Nice ingredients on the list overall, and the price range is suitable if not especially a bargain. The wines "from the barrel" however, are a bit more accessible.
Please rate the Dining Room:
Well done. Comfortable. Simple but creative. Definitely some ample experience in restaurant design at work here. All the little details are just right (save for the "temporary glitch" with the HVAC, I mean. Apparently, that will be "fixed by next week.")
Please rate the BOH:
Very good. Better than I’d expected actually. The menu is hardly imaginative— just a reflection of the very numerous Italian trattorias already dotting the area below 14th St. But, there’s obviously a very skilled and meticulous hand at work here. The freshness, deliciousness, and conscientiousness more than make up for the dearth of ingenuity. (Ha, sometimes ingenuity can be your worst enemy.) Lots and lots of potential here.
How was the staff?
Enthusiastic and amiable. And clearly of the more international variety.
It’s cute and kind of endearing; it just adds to the authenticity.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Prosciutto Cotto and Fontina Paninetti : Uh, it’s delicious, but did somebody get my order wrong? Because this tastes a little more like the "San Daniele and Mozzarella" selection. Oh well, at least it’s good, and I’m too lazy to send it back and wait for another. Also, I was expecting more of a flatbread— but only because the menu states the "paninetti" is served on "flatbread," contrary to say, the "panini" for example.
But again, whatever. If I weren’t enjoying it, I could be a bit annoyed. To their credit, I’m not at all.
Lentil Salad : Very good. But somehow, I must have completely missed the diminutive "cotechino" elaborative description underneath, because I was very (pleasantly) surprised to find a big sausage on top. Just a warning— to a meat eater it was bliss; to a vegan, maybe not so much.
But the execution was delectable, and in retrospect, a good offering for the price.
Chicken and Pepperoni Tramezzini : Good, but I don’t quite detect the pepperoni, which is what I found slightly intriguing. But still yummy and good for nibbling. (Excuse me, I’ll have another La Gazzetta, please…)
Polpette : Very good. Tasty, hearty, scrumptious. But I mean, really— who doesn’t love a good meatball?
I really wanted to try the "Eggs Benedict" next : But urgh, I’m stuffed. The description of "pizza bianca, cotto, and fonduta" sounds really alluring though, especially given the quality I’ve experienced thus far. I’m jumping ahead, but yeah, I’ll be back for that one.
What did you like?
It was pretty much all satisfactory.
What did you dislike?
I don’t normally care much for AC, but in 95+ degree weather…
What was your last impression?
Finally, this one might actually have a good shot at working here.
Would you come back?
Mmmm bennnediiict….
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, it was a pleasure.
Welcome to: Where I Spent My Day Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider" – BY SPECIAL REQUEST
From the inbox: "Hey… planning an upcoming trip that includes two days in NYC. Don’t want to end up at the tourist spots, I wanna eat like a hip/savvy local! What do you suggest, please? Like, where would you go if you only had one day? And how hard is it to get reservations or get in? … You’re like the Adrian Moore of NYC, [where] I got some great tips on dining when I first moved to Paris… Thanks! – D.B.
So, what do you do in the industry?
it’s me, bitches! or rather — for our Parisian friends— c’est moi, salopes!
And you have how many days off a week, generally?
let’s say 2
What did would you do for breakfast yesterday?
i don’t generally do breakfast, but if i did (or if i were entertaining, e.g.), i’d likely go to SantAmbroeus in the west village. boom— it’s only breakfast and already you’re a “hip and savvy” local. try not to stare at liv-tyler.
breakfast is a bit more sedate than lunch or dinner, so just walk right on in.
Lunch?
if it’s a beautiful sunny day, BarPitti.
after 2pm is best, but do plan on the possibility of a short wait unless you arrive after 4pm. they don’t take reservations, and they don’t take credit cards either.
And afterward?
as you’re already in that vicinity, perhaps some shopping in SoHo or the WestVillage?
and since you’re on vacation, after that, you’ll of course need a nice apértif. personally, when in SoHo, i like LaEsquina or CafeSelect. if i’m in the WestVillage, it’s CentroVinoteca or GustoRistorante e BarAmericano.
either/all are nice and relaxing in the hours from 4pm to 7pm, no reservation/waiting required.
Dinner?
this is where it gets a little tricky. firstly, because you asked where i would go if i only had one night (or had guests from out of town), and secondly because the answer to the question "is it hard to get in?" would likely be a yes oui. but here goes anyway:
at the top of my list would be LaEsquina.
unfortunately, it can be difficult to get a reservation even for a local. a good alternative since you’re coming in the summertime is to sit outdoors, provided you don’t mind dining early (around 7pm). tables outside are first come first served, but do not offer the full cellar dining room menu. however, the "scene and/or people watching" (one of LaEsquina’s primary attractions) is stellar from this vantage point.
also at the top of the list is MinettaTavern, mostly because whenever friends of mine visit from across the country or overseas, dinner at MinettaTavern is usually a principal request. i believe reservations at this juncture are still a bit difficult, so a decent strategy is to dine at the bar. i normally suggest people go early (around 6pm), check with the maitre d’ for any cancellations or sudden availabilities, but be prepared to have full dinner at the bar if necessary. of course, late dinner (around 11pm) is always an option too, but it’s not the choice i would make.
[i wanted to re-iterate however, these are selections i would make under the provision of one night in NYC as a "hip/savvy local." if you're one of those die hard foodie types, send your hate mail elsewhere, i'm not even remotely interested. then go get yourself a Michelin guide or something.]
And afterward?
sigh. if i had to? the BoomBoom. but yes it’s true, you’re not getting in. but since you must go home and tell everyone you’ve been there— go early, in the hours from 4pm to 9pm.
please do not ask me where you can "go dancing" after 10pm without a hassle at the door, because any pragmatic suggestion i would make would only serve to publicly embarrass myself. [okay here's a tip: you can go absolutely anywhere else you please if you're willing to "buy a bottle" and/or bribe the doorperson.]
How much did would you [have to] blow today?
with the exception of "BoomBoom Room," none of my recommendations are exorbitantly expensive. but, since it’s vacation, and i assume you mean to have a nice time— i would approximate the total cost for a day out like this (for two people) at about $550.00
i hope you have a nice visit!
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Huh. This is… different.
Please rate the Bar:
The bar itself? Is a little odd. But maybe only because when you’re sitting at the "bar" that just looks like the bar and is located across the bar, but really is actually a dining counter, you can get a bit confused. So basically, from where I was sitting, which I thought was the bar, which was not actually the bar, the actual bar looked pretty good. I guess.
Except the seats are very poorly built and a wee nonsensical.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Well, apparently the fancy shmancy cocktails already got some hoopla in some sort of newspaper, so I was already warned about their fancy-shmanciness. So, I suppose I wasn’t disappointed!
Pretty creative presentation all right, and the recipes are somehwat intriguing if you’re the type that’s into that sort of thing. Me— I’m a vodka/rocks kinda guy— so the genuine rock in place of my "rocks" was uh… amusing at best. (Vermouth "soaked" rock, huh? Squeeze some blood out of that thing, then maybe I’ll be impressed.)
Otherwise, A for effort! Or maybe A-, because all that rigmarole is expensive (app. $15 per drink).
Please rate the Dining Room:
Is it finished?
No really, I’m really truly not quite sure whether all that exposed plywood on the banquettes is intentional or not. However, considering the poor design of the bar/"bar" stools, I wouldn’t be surprised.
So, yeah— it’s… different. Not exactly the design choices I would make personally, but hey. I didn’t have to pay for it— and diversity is what makes the world go round! Right?
Please rate the BOH:
I admit I don’t know anything at all about the chef; I didn’t bother to do any research before or after my dining experience. But if I had to guess, I would say it’s probably a true-blood Italian trained in French culinary techniques. Am I right? Did I win?
There’s a lot to appreciate about the menu, and certainly the artful presentation, but the execution could maybe use just a little more time and/or work. The potential is definitely there; it’s the conception that might need a tad more revisiting. If I said anymore than that, I’d need a consultation fee.
How was the staff?
Good. Friendly, adept, and conscientious. Also, very European.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Baby Artichoke Croquettes : Very good. Easily my favorite of all the dishes I tried. Tasty, aromatic, rich in flavor but delicate. (But now in retrospect, I’m not sure whether it was good or bad to start, rather than end, on a high note.)
Steamed Octopus and Potato : Ah, a very Italian dish, but at this point I’m really starting to see the French coming out. Also very good, tender succulent octopus (especially for such a big old creature). The little bit of pesto turns out to be a nice touch. Eat it fast, though— once it cools down, not so appealing.
Pork Belly with Head On Shrimp and Chickpea Puree : Sounds weird, right? And yeah, it kind of is. The shrimp is tender but slight too salty (and for a salt lover like me, that’s saying a lot). But the pork belly is eh. Is it boiled? The flavor isn’t awful, but the texture is… not so good. Give me a great caramelized pork belly, and I’ll eat it ’til the pig screams for mercy. But not in this bizarre cube-like rubbery style.
Porcini, Arugula and Avocado Salad :Cold mushrooms? Bleeah. And the cauliflower, too— over-refrigerated. ‘Shame.
Tuna tartare : OK. Decent. Pretty to look at.
What did you like?
Those artichoke croquettes were slammin’.
What did you dislike?
The ambience is not for me.
What was your last impression?
People and their ideas…
Would you come back?
I’ll let you guess.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, and best of luck.
This Tuesday, June 29, 2010, Juliet Supper Club will unveil its new "international street style" menu by chef Mario Tolentino of Food Network’s Chopped. Which sort of begs the question, “What about Todd English?”
True, English’s cuisine debuted far later than Juliet’s official Grand Opening (if at all? —Hey, does anybody actually know?) and has received little attention aside from Juliet’s preliminary launch announcements, had very dim prospects at ever garnering favorable press reviews, took a backseat to the ample coverage of English’s dramatic love life and was rarely considered or discussed propitiously by its judgemental clientele….
OK, maybe we just answered our own question.
So! Uhh— Tuesday, June 29, 2010 at Juliet. Be there or be square!
Welcome to: Where I Spent My Day Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"
So, what do you do in the industry?
I’m a restaurateur/operator for several F&B enterprises in [downtown/midtown Manhattan] NYC.
And you have how many days off a week, generally?
I usually take a half day on Saturday, and on Sunday I try to limit work to about an hour or two.
What did you do for breakfast yesterday?
We had breakfast at Sunset Beach. We normally stay with friends whenever we visit the Hamptons (I sold my own house ages ago), but this time we decided to try something different. Even though the weather forecast wasn’t great, we figured we’d get out of the city anyway. I’d called Sunset Beach at the last minute, and (presumably due to the forecast) I had no trouble booking a room the night before.
Breakfast was good— nothing too fancy, but a nice eggs benedict with spicy hollandaise and a mushroom frittata with a side of apple-smoked sausage. The coffee could have been better, though. I have noticed this before— even awhile back when I used to stay at The Raleigh in Miami Beach, the coffee always sucked. Not an AB Hotels strong point, I guess.
But the service was good and friendly, especially for so early in the morning (by young NYers in the Hamptons).
Lunch?
Silver’s in Southampton. My Hamptons lunchtime staple. It’s hard to get there sometimes, because they close at 3:30PM, and obviously, if you’re on the beach, it isn’t easy to get there on time. If Garrett [Wellins] is around, he’s usually more accommodating to the regulars, and you can get a seat closer to 4PM. But if not, forget it; it seems the staff starts turning people away at 3:15.
Normally I go for either the lobster roll or the lobster salad, which are the best I’ve had anywhere, but this time I opted for the crabcake and was not disappointed— it was excellent. My wife had the burger, which is also one of their specialties (it’s the size of your head) and that was really delicious too. It’s not hard to imagine how Silver’s manages to stay in business working 3 hours a day 6 months out of the year. The quality of the food is truly superb.
And afterward?
Just walked around and did a little window shopping… and stopped in for a gelato cone from Sant Ambroeus.
Then back to Sunset Beach for a sunset drink. It really turned out great that the weather forecast was so bad, because it was unusually serene— normally it’s a madhouse. But the weather actually turned out okay; by 6PM the sun was peeking out and the temperature was perfect. We had a chance to chat with all our pals who are running the place this year; generally the staff is running around like chickens without heads it’s so busy. So it was really very nice lounging relaxedly with a nice bottle of rosé and a very good platter of crudité. I liked the olive tapenade so much, I’m stealing the idea for the crudité I serve in my own places. Between all the locations, we must have barrels of tapenade, but nobody ever thought to serve it with the crudité.
Dinner?
We hadn’t planned on leaving the island again, but then we got a call from friends who happened to be staying in Sag Harbor for the weekend. So we decided to meet them for dinner at B. Smith’s on the marina.
Ugh, it was horrible. The service was OK, but the food was awful. Since I’d missed my usual lunchtime lobster roll at Silver’s, that’s what I ordered, and my wife chose the "special" lobster salad. Plus we had Blue Point oysters to start.
Well, the oysters were pretty bad; they have a terrible shucker. He let all the natural juices drain out and there were shells shards everywhere. And the lobster was a joke. Overcooked, over-refrigerated, tough, and chewy like rubber— which for the Hamptons especially, is a real travesty; you’d think there’d be great fresh seafood everywhere. And don’t even get me started on the wine by the glass.
The waffle fries were good though.
And afterward?
Just back to the hotel, and by this time the bar seemed to really be pumping. Not nearly as packed as usual, but definitely pretty crowded. We were tired so we just went back to our room, which was essentially pretty nice. Simple and unadorned but clean and cozy and comfortable. The bathroom is small, but everything else is pretty good. And the balcony is spacious and pleasant.
How much did you blow today?
Including the room? Probably about a grand.
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Oh gee, this is unique. (That’s sarcasm.)
Please rate the Bar:
It’s… typical. (See: The Waverly Inn, Monkey Bar, Minetta Tavern, Hotel Griffou, Abe & Arthur’s, East Side Social Club, Vintry Wine & Whiskey, Rabbit in the Moon…)
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Oh come on, really? See above.
Please rate the Dining Room:
Smaller than you imagine. Remember how expansive was Village’s dining room? Well, now it seems as though a lot of that is now the open kitchen— which sort of makes you wonder where the kitchen was before. The high ceiling makes it seem much more capacious than the room actually accommodates, and yet, for some reason, less spacious than its prior incarnation. (Dude, maybe it’s like totally an optical illusion!)
Also: see above.
Please rate the BOH:
Ha ha ha ha. See: the first half of above.
I mean seriously though, what is it you expect from this review anyway? An epiphany? You know you’re not going for the food.
Oh wait, I got something BOH for ya. Remember back when someone kept sending e-mails to us, claiming that chef John deLucie was actually not "on leave" from The Waverly Inn as was reported but was, in essence, "fired"? And then deLucie responded via text message refuting those claims? Well, it turns out— apparently, he lied. (So, to whomever was so generously trying to apprise us of the paradox all along: Our bad!)
How was the staff?
Fine. Especially considering it’s pretty much everyone you already know. Which, ya know, can be a good thing. Or sometimes… not. LOL!
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Tuna Tartare, Beet Salad, Pappardelle, Burger / Oh, like you care.
I mean seriously though, what is it you expect from this review anyway? An epiphany? You know you’re not going for the food. Which is probably a good thing, because you’ve had all this stuff already. Yeh, the biscuits too.
What did you like?
It’s conveniently located?
What did you dislike?
The redundancy.
What was your last impression?
"Been there. Done that." That proves I’m fierce, right?
Would you come back?
Hmm, maybe I’ll just wait for the next place just like this to open. It’ll be what— 4 to 6 months, tops?
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Ha ha ha, I’m sure you will! At the next place. Anna Wintour’s maybe.
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Out on the sidewalk standing in front of the place? Uh… Wow.
Inside the door? Huh… Not bad.
Please rate the Bar:
Nice. Spacious, comfortable, accommodating and clean, if not entirely welcoming. The bartenders are a bit frosty at first, but they warm up after a minute or so.
The glassware is… Eh.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Selections are sparse and somewhat trite… for now. I get the distinct impression they’re still feeling their way though ("… the cocktail list is pretty much what you see on the shelves…"). I mean, the liquor assortment is so oddly curated, they may very well just be sales samples from purveyors. (Hey, waste not, want not, right?)
I’d give them a little more time to sort it out.
Please rate the Dining Room:
Better than you’d think from the outside. Cozy, if you like the darkness. But, the downstairs "lounge" area is prettier and more creative than the upstairs dining room.
Please rate the BOH:
Very good. Lots and lots of potential here. The menu is relatively scant (for now?) and decidedly far more artistic than the "gastro-pub" description would have you believe. Much more impressive than I’d expected (given the operators’ pedigrees). Definitely worth keeping an eye on.
How was the staff?
Fine. Proficient and experienced, if not particularly amiable. A few familiar faces; been around the block a time or two…
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Foie Gras Torchon : Good. Nice presentation. Flavorful.
Salmon Tartare : Also good. Fresh, tasty. Personally, could have done without the fruit (not my thing), but the orange slices were not a terrible addition. Again, very nice execution.
Sturgeon Salad : Excellent. Different; not what I imagined at all. Love the poached egg "surprise." And the whole thing perfectly fried like that? Beautiful.
Bangers and Mash : If there’s one thing of which I’ll likely never tire in restaurants, it’s simple homestyle dishes done exceptionally well. Delicious.
What did you like?
That sturgeon salad was pretty impressive. The mashed potatoes were great too. Actually, I liked it all.
What did you dislike?
Oh dude, that facade… (But, I’ll live).
What was your last impression?
Go, Rocco?
Would you come back?
Sure.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, and all the best…
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
Mastro’s Ocean Club (Las Vegas)
What was your first impression?
♪♪ "i shutting shit down at the mallllll…" ♪♪ haaa. just kidding.
Please rate the Bar:
nice. welcoming, capacious, and comfortable, if not exceptionally orderly. and the bartender is good. competent, amicable, and knowledgeable but not particularly effusive.
great lighting! ha aha ahaa everyone’s a beauty here… and umm, let’s just say las vegas isn’t exactly overcome with those.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
wow that’s a lotta liquor. and do my eyes deceive me or are they actually pouring Chopin out of the well. now that’s impressive. the wine list is decent— adequately diverse and judiciously priced, something nice for every budget.
Please rate the Dining Room:
it’s… different. great view of the… LouisVuitton boutique? and the sculpture structure thingie that makes up the "walls" must have cost a fortune. welcome to las vegas!
Please rate the BOH:
not bad. but not nearly as good as i expected, considering the glowing recommendation that came via a "born and raised" las vegas (F&B) native. so that’s a bit of a disappointment.
but on the upside, it’s actually rather reasonably priced.
How was the staff?
overall, good. perfectly adept but inconspicuous. maybe a B or B+.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
escargot : classic. good. flavorful, but not extraordinary.
lobster bisque: very good. rich, hearty, delicious. unusually generous portion of lobster meat. (and at only $12.95? — huh.)
ahi tuna tartare : good fresh tuna, but the presentation is somewhat silly, what with the layers and the crunchy chinese "noodles" and whatnot. overkill.
halibut fish & chips : pretty good. huge. not astounding but certainly satisfactory, and who doesn’t love a fancy fish and chip?
sauteed mushrooms : great aroma but aww— "farmed" mushrooms? bleah. i should have gone with the gorgonzola mac&cheese or the wasabi mashed potatoes instead. but now i’m too stuffed.
What did you like?
uhh, the lighting? (hey, you try catching yourself in mirrors all over las vegas hotels and casinos. i swear you never knew you were so damned ugly.) the ambience sorta grows on you…
What did you dislike?
i really wish the food were as good as the endorsement.
What was your last impression?
i can’t breathe…
Would you come back?
probably.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
thank you, and have a good night.
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
it looks good…
Please rate the Bar:
it’s small, particularly given the total square footage of the space and las vegas’s proclivity for massively sized things. the bar/lounge area overall however is spacious and comfortable, which is nice. personally, i feel it’s much more appealing than the main dining room, which seems far less welcoming and dispassionate in comparison.
oh but for the love of gawd what is with the fucking slop light almost everywheres you go? welcome to las vegas— no self respecting restaurateur in NYC would ever…
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
sake! well that’s a noteworthy twist. ha ha ahaa for all the love the chinese get in vegas (seriously, just for a goof— go anywhere and ask for a cup of tea. and then watch them scurry to proudly bring you the "tea menu"), the japanese are clearly the second-class asian around these parts.
admittedly, i was so distracted by the sake, i completely forgot to look at the wine/cocktail list. but i mean, it’s a steak house, and it’s wolfgang-puck— exactly how disparate do you think they’d be, really.
Please rate the Dining Room:
typically big, and kinda "corporate." i like the anteroom much better.
Please rate the BOH:
dude, it’s wolfgang-puck. so, ya know— like that. a step above USHG… maybe somewhere in the DinexGroup stratum. (fourth day straight of F&F las vegas reviews; i’m getting a little tired of using the same adjectives over and over and over again.)
How was the staff?
dude, it’s wolfgang-puck. so, ya know— like that. a step above B.R.Guest… somewhere in the USHG stratum. (fourth day straight of F&F las vegas reviews; i’m getting a little tired of using the same adjectives over and over and over again.)
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
burrata and prosciutto di parma : good. very fresh. quite a large portion. but not particularly astounding.
bone marrow flan : nice. tasty. maybe needs jussst a little touch of salt— until you try it with the mushroom marmalade. then it’s really absolutely delicious.
fava bean salad : good. light, flavorful, slightly tart. nice texture composite.
new york sirloin tasting : i guess— perfect for anybody in las vegas who really likes steak but doesn’t necessarily want to eat one the size of one’s head. usually, i’m a porterhouse and/or bone-in ribeye kind of girl, but this menu pretty much scared me. i mean, i knooow vegas is a fatty meat lovers’ paradise (and they have their own way of doing things here), but personally i’ve never a seen a place actually brag about corn fed beef before.
anyways, of all the beefs on my plate (japanese wagyu, american "kobe style," and USDA prime dry age) the wagyu was far and away the standout. of course.
creamed spinach with fried egg : the waiter recommended this as his "favorite side," but the spinach was way too pureed for me. spinach mush. but flavorful enough.
What did you like?
the wagyu was really quite good.
What did you dislike?
umm, the slop light drives me nutso?
What was your last impression?
i once told emeril-lagasse Delmonico is my favoritest steakhouse ever. should i have gone back there instead? it’s been so long…
Would you come back?
maybe.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
thank you.
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
Guy Savoy – Bubble Bar (Las Vegas)
What was your first impression?
huh. this is kinda… ugly, actually. i mean, the little fireplace thingie is sort of nice (?) i guess, but the polar bear head encased in the plexiglas is just a bit silly. and the crates stacked in the corner aren’t quite as cute as i suppose they’re meant to be.
Please rate the Bar:
the bar itself is underwhelming, unwelcoming, and uncomfortable. there’s no bartender— it’s up to the (lone) hostess to serve you.
now, i totally "get" it’s a champagne bar, but believe it or not, there is a difference between simple and ordinary. here’s a hint: at least one of those shouldn’t cost millions to build. when it does, it’s beyond "ordinary" or "simple"— then it’s just stupid.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
cocktails are n/a. and since i’m not such a fan of champagne generally, i opted for a glass of sauvignon blanc (from sancerre) off the sparse ‘by the glass’ menu. i was a bit surprised when i’d turned my head for a moment and then turned back realizing both our glasses had been fully poured without a taste first (i’m not fussy, but i mean, this is GuySavoy, right?) but then i remembered the poor girl had to leave her post at the hostess stand for this and was perhaps unaccustomed to serving wine at all. well, it ended up being unfortunate, cuz the wine had turned already. i felt a prick of compunction at returning two full glasses of wine, so i asked for a sommelier to come and confirm the wine had indeed gone bad. the hostess was very nice and replaced the glasses immediately, but it did make me curious… no sommelier at Guy Savoy? or is the Bubble Bar simply unworthy?
Please rate the Dining Room:
not my style. at all. which is why i opted for Bubble Bar in the first place.
as a person who’s spent 20+ years within the industry and currently dines out nearly every night of my life, a subdued grandiloquent four hour dining experience is nothing short of sheer torture for me. but i’d heard such good things about GuySavoy, i figured it might be travesty to leave las vegas without at least a sampling.
sigh…
Please rate the BOH:
like i need the fucking hate mail from hysterical foodies, right? puhleese, spare me that much.
alls i’m a say is: personally, i wish i’d gone back to Sage instead.
How was the staff?
she was a perfectly proficient hostess/bartender/waitress, but maybe just a wee icy. but it was rather amusing how the back waiters from the dining room who occasionally came to fetch the table accoutrements (all the fancy salt and pepper ramekins for the tables are stored behind the bar, bottom shelf, below the row of cognacs) seemed rather unnerved by our presence.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
the oysters in ice gelée, the "mosaic" of poularde, foie gras, and black truffle, and beef tartare with little potato croquettes. yessss, i realize these are hardly the world renowned signature "colors of caviar" or whatever the hells (bad me. bad me.) but umm— foie gras and tartare— these just happen to be the same things i ate last night at Sage. and yah, Sage was better. so maybe if i hadn’t dined there the prior evening, i would have enjoyed GuySavoy more? i’m not sure, quite frankly.
What did you like?
that now i get to say i’ve been here.
What did you dislike?
overall, i can’t exactly say it was an enjoyable experience. although it was interesting…
What was your last impression?
i’m rather glad i didn’t opt for the full dinner. (and the professional in me can only conclude the Bubble Bar, as ill-conceived and ill-managed as it is, could very well be the bane of their endeavors.)
Would you come back?
i’m afraid not, but thank you.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
well that’s sweet of you to say. good night.
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
isn’t this elegant.
Please rate the Bar:
nice. tasteful, welcoming, capacious, very comfortable. and the bartender is charming, knowledgeable, and enthusiastic. humorous even.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
very healthy and diverse list of wine and beer— impressive and reasonably priced. brief cocktails list is comprised mostly of classics with a refined touch. sophisticated selections all around; i’d say arguably one of the most superlative bars in las vegas.
Please rate the Dining Room:
i like the front bar/dining area better, as the rear dining room seems a bit more austere— and personally i think the ample square footage could have been utilized better. it simply lacks the warmth and seductiveness of the anteroom. feels vaguely corporate.
Please rate the BOH:
excellent. we chose Sage because it was recommended by a friend in the las vegas F&B industry as "the best of all the restaurants at CityCenter"— and after having tried it, i wholeheartedly believe it. i would go so far as to say Sage ranks as one of the best restaurants i’ve experienced anywhere, ever.
hell, even the bread service was distinctive.
How was the staff?
good. highly proficient but perfectly at ease. adroit but unceremonious.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
the slow-poached egg, the yellowtail crudo, the wagyu beef tartare, the foie gras custard brulee, and the roasted sweetbreads, and everything was quite exceptional (and tremendously rich)— with the foie gras and the tartare being the stellar standouts. only the fussiness of the crudo made me apprehensive, but after one bite i got over it quick.
undoubtedly one of the most spectacular meals i’ve ever had, and technically, i didn’t even have an entree. alas, so many restaurants to try and so little time…
What did you like?
pretty much everything.
What did you dislike?
i’m too stuffed to eat anything else.
What was your last impression?
i’m so glad i came.
Would you come back?
absolutely.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
thank you, it was a pleasure.
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
what an odd façade… but i guess, not for vegas!
Please rate the Bar:
nice. certainly welcoming, that’s for sure. and comfortable and commodious. typically vegas in vastness, clean.
the bartender is enthusiastic but not particularly warm or amiable. competent— in that very zealous mixologist kind of way [read: sloooow]. not quite an adept multi-tasker.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
best margarita i’ve had in all of las vegas. you would think vegas’s relative proximity to mexico would yield some truly inspired margarita concoctions everywheres you go, but you would be wrong. unfortunately, las vegas is closer to disneyland than mexico (seriously, don’t even get me started on my quick stop at dosCaminos with the "triple sec already in the mix" — mhmmp).
the wine list, too, is more adventurous than most i’ve seen here. eclectic and diverse with a nice range of options at reasonable prices.
Please rate the Dining Room:
a but strange— what with the whole bit of overlooking the lobby and all. nice view of the… reception desk? a bit too "day at the mall" for my tastes— but the more private tables in the rear aren’t exactly preferable either. but whatever, just go with it. you’re in las vegas fer chrissakes.
Please rate the BOH:
very good. impressive. nice artful twists on simple classics. better than i expected (especially given the strange lobby/cafe-esque design of the space). truly first-rate.
How was the staff?
fine. proficient and cordial if not exactly conscientious.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
we tried the white ceviche, the grilled calamari, chicken and bechamel croquettes, sauteed padron peppers, and creamy wild mushroom risotto and they were all quite exceptional. what a masterful execution of straightforward dishes. rich, flavorful, fresh with an adroit but uncomplicated presentation. really excellent.
What did you like?
the food was outstanding.
What did you dislike?
nothing really.
What was your last impression?
well now i’m kinda regretful i never tried Picasso; i always just assumed it was a tourist trap what with the big fuss over the dancing waterfalls and whatnot. and now that it’s so past its prime… (oh, haa! past… Prime, get it? i didn’t even do that on purpose, i swear.)
Would you come back?
yes.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
thank you, it was a pleasure.
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
This is cute.
Please rate the Bar:
More like a dining counter than a bar— and cramped, but OK. Comfortable enough. And clean, considering. Good for lunch or a quick late-afternoon/early-evening drink.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Cocktails are N/A. The wine list is brief and a bit trite. Mostly French; not so eclectic. And expensive for the caliber level. If you’re with friends and insist on wine, go straight for the bottle, as the glass pour is frugal and hardly a value for your dollar.
Nice selection of freshly made juice concoctions, however. But where the menu says "mix your own," it’s a lie. They don’t actually have all the fruit ingredients they claim to have.
Please rate the Dining Room:
Not bad. Aesthetically pleasing if not entirely comfortable. Also somewhat cramped, but the high ceiling makes it seem loftier.
Please rate the BOH:
Satisfactory; maybe a C+ or B-. Simple offerings, decent quality— but again, expensive for the offerings.
How was the staff?
Fine. Not exactly amiable; very French. Adept, but neither particularly enthusiastic nor conscientious.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
House Salad : Fine. Fresh. Adequate balsamic vinaigrette, and the walnuts are a nice touch. All tartines come with a complimentary house salad, so keep that in mind when you order.
Caesar Salad : Eh. The croutons are stale. And the dressing is a bit bland. Cheap parmesan. Also, it would have been nice had the waiter informed us (2 people) that the tartines include a house salad (or offered us an upcharge for Caesar instead of House) when we ordered. 2 people: 2 tartines (with 2 House Salads) and 1 Caesar Salad. Do we look like rabbits, or are you just a niggardly shyster? Hmm….
Foie Gras Tartine : Really? This scant a smear of foie gras for $18.50? I don’t even know if it’s good, because I can barely taste it. Good thing it comes with a dollop of fig jam, or it would have nearly no flavor at all.
Croque Madame : Good. Elementary, but tasty enough. Is all the money collected from patrons allotted to flying the bread in from Paris or something? Because this quantity of food/drink at this level of quality does not warrant these pretty hefty price tags. I’d get an in-house bread baker to follow the recipe instead.
(And, I’d rather you keep your “free” House Salad, and just give me a better tartine for my money.)
What did you like?
The concept.
What did you dislike?
The pretentiousness (especially for such a casual eatery).
What was your last impression?
$90 for 2 people (including 1 glass of wine, 2 juices and tip) and I’m still hungry. I could have had a good full dinner for this amount elsewhere.
Would you come back?
Maybe— but I’d really have to be craving a (very small, open-faced) sandwich badly to spend an average of $12 on one.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks and best of luck.
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
oh, here we go. another one of these…
Please rate the Bar:
okay. small, but comfortable. nice enough. and the bartender is sweet— poor child, in that hideous awful uniform.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
ugh i’d already started my evening elsewhere so i completely forgot to look to the wine list. sorry! but one of my guests this evening is a wine aficionado, and she opted for glass of wine, so the offerings can’t be all bad. there’s a pretty sparse selection of liquor though— the bartender did say they’re "working on" the inventory and was kind enough to make note of my request for don-julio blanco. but they did have chopin, so— somebody’s thinking.
also: SoHo prices. of course.
but yet: stoli bev naps. whatever, kids.
Please rate the Dining Room:
it’s okay but personally i think the front dining area is sightly nicer than the back. i would have done it differently, but hey— to each his own. actually i thought it was better than the photo i’d already seen, but my wine snob buddy commented something along the lines of: "was some of this shit here already [in its prior incarnation]? cuz i can’t imagine anyone would throw this look together on purpose." oh snap.
i didn’t think it was that bad— on the contrary, i can well imagine someone did throw this look together very much on purpose (and probably got paid for it too). but i mean, really— i’ve seen worse. (i kinda like the "chandeliers"!)
really bad acoustics, however.
Please rate the BOH:
pretty good. seriously, better than i expected— especially from one of these joints. yesss, Beba is so totally jumping face forward into the whole tired assed nightclub posing as restaurant trend. you just have to take one look at all the lovely staff ladies in those hideous awful uniforms to know this— Hooters® by marc-jacobs (or some shit).
so, i feel a little bad for the poor, sure to be underappreciated BOH. but maybe they’re making such great salaries in the club business they really couldn’t care less.
How was the staff?
sweet. lovely. very pretty. and friendly. those poor girls in those hideous awful fucking uniforms.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
i just tried a bunch of the smaller things cuz, like i said, i wasn’t expecting the food to be that good. there was the "selection of spreads," calamari salad, salmon and tuna tartar, keftedes (meatballs), and grilled sausages. and it was all quite good. a bit fancy (there’s the whole bit with the ice cream scoop presentation for the hummus and taramosalata etc, e.g.) but certainly not cloyingly so. and really very tasty. clean, quality execution. a great twist on greek classics, made with an undoubtedly accomplished, artful hand.
but who cares, right? i know i know, you’re a little too busy right now ogling the Hooters® by marc-jacobs.
What did you like?
the food was really a very pleasant surprise.
What did you dislike?
did i mention how i feel for those poor lovely ladies? i’d rather work for lois-freedman than don one of those atrocious things. and you knooow i mean that shit literally.
What was your last impression?
well, it was sweet of fellow diner matt-levine to say "nice meeting you!"— but uhh, we didn’t actually meet. duh.
Would you come back?
bar, drinks, nibbles— sure, i think so.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
thank you, and best of luck to you.
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of lucks[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Flashy!
Please rate the Bar:
Nice. Small, but comfortable. Clean. And the bartender is friendly and enthusiastic.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
OK. Nice selections by the glass, but not exactly eclectic. Slightly expensive. Ditto on the cocktails— fine, but hardly imaginative or creative.
Please rate the Dining Room:
A bit austere and ordinary. Very corporate, very Trump (read: ugly). And nonsensical. No knowledgeable restaurateur would ever build an HVAC system like this.
Please rate the BOH:
Sigh. I have a feeling we’re not in Miami anymore, Toto. So, yeah. Like that.
How was the staff?
Very good. Amiable, proficient, conscientious (especially the hotel doorman). Warm and welcoming and perfectly adept.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
I had the Parmigiana di Melanzane, the Arancino di Riso and the Ravioli di Casa— and it made me glad I didn’t order any more (as I’d initially intended). Aside from taking 40 minutes for my first course to reach me, it was all keenly pretentious yet thoroughly pedestrian. To put it in the blunt words of my guest, "Did it take this long for the food to come out because it was defrosting?" Need I say more, because I’d rather not waste the energy. Thank you.
What did you like?
The hotel lobby is rather nice, actually.
What did you dislike?
The food.
What was your last impression?
Why do skyscrapers still insist on slapping "Trump" on the facade as if it’s a good thing?
Would you come back?
Sorry, I don’t think so.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks and good luck to you. Believe me, you’re gonna need it.
= "personne extraordinaire"