PX This.

The following is an excerpt from the upcoming revised version of PX This (release date TBD):

[**warning: Eats, Shoots and Ladders Leaves freaks, please CLICK HERE and HERE before reading any further. then take that favorite book of yours and stick it up your ass. thank you!]

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2001. 12:15PM

we got terrible news. a friend that B used to work with, “big keith,” is missing.

such a nice guy, big and friendly and cute and good natured and happy. he’s a firefighter and i think nearly his entire squad is gone.

the last time i saw big-keith was at Sugar in december and i remember i asked him if he was still thinking about joining the fire department and he replied “i’m IN the fire department!”— so we chatted wow how fast time flies the last time i had seen him he was just talking about thinking about joining.

and he bought me a cup of coffee another night too and i felt weird, i wasn’t sure which was more insulting— to offer him $ for it or not. i didn’t know the protocol, back at the gatien’s nobody offered $ they just went and got it the next time.

big-keith was in the movie The Professional and he was great in it really, even though it was a small role. he played benny (one of the corrupt cops) and he has one awesome scene where he is standing in the hallway with his gun drawn, nervous and shaking and sweating.

actually he is so remarkable i mentioned him in my screenplay too, and i guess it’s silly but i liked to imagine my film would actually get made one day and keith could play one of the doormen and it would actually be the real him they were referring to in the dialogue. something like that

i remember one time keith and i were chatting outside NakedLunch and i was recounting to him how i’d taped The Professional on the VCR and then i realized “oh whoops you probably don’t want to hear that do you?” thinking it was bad i had videotaped it instead of paying to see it in a theatre. and eeheee he was cute he insisted “no! HBO is good, i’ll take HBO!”

and B says his wife is in denial like she just expects him to come walking in the door any second and my God who can blame her? because he was just so big and able and strong it seemed like nothing could ever take him down.

oh my God knock on wood but if something like that were to happen to B i would be the exact same way i would have to see it with my own two eyes.

it’s just not the way things are supposed to be

B was really upset when he told me.

i remember all the funny stories he used to tell about working the door at NakedLunch how keith would just make him laugh and laugh all night long.

even though B hated doorkeeping so much i know he looks back fondly and proudly because of all the good guys he knows because of it.

and even though i do not want to share this i feel like i want to say something to the greenies all those movie lovers like they should go out and buy The Professional and tell all their friends i just want everyone to know when they watch that movie they should look out for him and they can see how great he was and be proud for him he is such a hero.

but i am afraid it will just come out stupid or corny or something

** See also: The Ministry of Speed

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