PX This.

welcome to the "soft launch" of the new pxthis.com —
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forthcoming updates may proceed slowly over the next several weeks, as everybody acclimates themselves to their new undertakings (people can be so unreliable when you only pay them in liquor). also: evidently, everyone has weddings and travels and other responsibilities and whatnot planned over the coming months so— you know how that is.

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thank you so much for all your encouragement, enthusiasm, and support.

enough of this gobbledygook LET’S DANCE, BITCHES!

i’ve only ever been to one other one in my life. but that was totally different cuz it was on a fancy french island way out in the caribbean so it wasn’t such a "scandal" or any such thing. that beach was called "saline" (that’s suh-leen not say-leen like the eyedrops) and it wasn’t very crowded at all— the only naked peoples there were a couple of (beautiful) women off in a quiet corner. with their boyfriends. the boys weren’t naked, just the girls.
see? no biggie.

but this visit was pretty different all right.

oh! before i elaborate—
did you know this beach is considered one of "new york’s best kept secrets" ? even though it’s technically 35 minutes outside of new york city.
well, apparently— it is. so i don’t want to be the one to ruin the secret (my friends will get mad at me).
alls i can say is: if you don’t know "the secret," i guess you’d better ask somebody.

ANYHOO
so yah. there’s this nude beach about 35 minutes away. it’s pretty umm dope? uhh, yah sure— dope!
i’m sorry, maybe i’m a prude or whatever, but
eeheee hahahahaa that is just some of the bugged outtest shit i have ever seen (in real life, i mean. not just like on teevee and whatnot). and i have seen some pretty bugged out stuff. i used to work at ClubUSA so believe me when i tell you i have seen some things. i have seen a row of gay men fucking in a TRAIN that’s how much stuff i’ve seen.

yah so. they even play naked volleyball at this beach. and they did naked dancing. and naked drinking. and naked singing. and naked body surfing.

A TWO MILE STROLL DOWN THE WAY IS ANOTHER PLAIN OLE REGULAR BEACH WITH A RESTAURANT/BAR GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF THE GUTTERS YOU BITCHES!

So how long has it been since you saw Gosford Park? A pretty long time, I’d wager.

Well, it’s about time you saw it again. Honestly, how much of it do you remember? You probably don’t even remember whodunit, do you? And did you even remember Clive Owen? And a (youngish!) Helen Mirren? What about Maggie Smith? Or Ryan Philippe in arguably the best role he’s ever had or ever will get ever again?

The only reason Gosford Park sticks out in my mind so much is because the last time I watched it, I noticed for the first time what a good metaphor it is for the F&B fine dining industry. Seriously, watch it again and see if it doesn’t strike you in the same way. Marvel at how it makes you feel nostalgic and dignified while simultaneously making you feel inadequate and pathetic!

I loved Gosford Park the second time around. Especially how the master of the house reminded me of my last employer.

• Here’s at least one benefit of the recession. According to a 25-year professional Waste Management veteran, the dramatic increase in businesses closing (and employees losing their jobs) has resulted in less waste. He approximates his routes alone collect about "20,000 less tons of trash " per week.

• Idiohack Ben Leventhal attempts to instruct restaurant patrons on "How to be a Regular." Unfortunately, his advice is a load of crap. Oh ha, "crap" ha! There’s a joke about trying to be "regular" somewhere in there! Probably. - Vanilla Ice

• Steve Lewis updates us on his feud with Todd English (wherein he "pulled an Abbe Diaz" (!) – his words). - Inkslinger

• Famke Janssen was spotted twice this week (because she’s a total stalker). First on Bleecker and 6th Ave (walking by the fountain) looking cute in trendy casual cargo shorts and a lovely jaunty fedora. Homegirl must be a bit of a klutz though, constantly bumping into low furnitures and whatnot, seeing as her (long! thin!) legs were looking a wee bit bruised and purply.
Our second encounter found her dining at MeKong with a diminutive female friend. Ms. Janssen didn’t seem to mind at all that the air conditioner above her head was dripping all over the table (which we had just abandoned prior, specifically for that reason). She also really loves her dog. He’s an adorable stout puggish slightly overweight nearly cross-eyed little thing, but Ms. Janssen reached down and scooped up all 15 or so pounds of him, and dined with him ensconced in her lap for the entire rest of her meal. Aww.
And if that scarf and handbag she was rockin are really actually from a street vendor like they purport, well— go on with yer bad self, Famke.
You look fabulous!

• Idiohack Ben Leventhal (characteristically) swings joyously from Keith McNally’s testicles as he announces the news McNally will team with Nate Appleman on their new soon-to-open pizzeria project. - Dick Johnson

• Our intrepid heroine takes on (Idiohack Wonder Twins) Joshua David Stein and Josh Ozersky — where else? — in the comment section of New York Magazine’s GrubStreet. A Must Read! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, it’s better than Moby Dick. - Dick Johnson

• Anna Wintour offspring, Bee Shaffer with dad, David Shaffer — spotted walking into "the phone store" on 6th Ave (where everrrrybody fabulous buys/services their cellular phones) to inquire about — what else? — new cellular phones.
Oh, WHICH "phone store" you ask?
Well, if you have to ask, you must not be fabulous? In which case, Mike the phone store owner responds, "Puhleese. I have enough [overbearing, annoying, demanding, rich luddite moron] customers on my hands. Thanks, but no thanks." Evidently, Mike pays mucho moola in rent for his tiny store in its swanky location. He doesn’t mind the trickle — a flood he definitely doesn’t need. If you require his services, you’ll find him.

• Blogger Choire Sicha breaks the news about (his former boyfriend) Frank Bruni’s replacement at The New York Times. Aww….(?).
Heh, jerkfaced Gawker commentators who typically swing from Sicha’s testicles (since he used to blog for Gawker) didn’t even know Choire Sicha once dated Frank Bruni! Because, despite all their pretensions, a lot of Gawker commentators are just ignorant fucking idiots. - Vanilla Ice

• Adam Platt files his review of Graydon Carter’s Monkey Bar.
"… ‘I’m not supposed to say,’ the waiter whispered, before explaining, with a conspiratorial grin, that the front-room staff at Mr. Carter’s restaurant had been asked to sign confidentiality agreements when taking their jobs…."
Thanks a lot, Abbe. I guess other aspiring waiter cum memoirists are just shit outta luck, huh? - Vanilla Ice

joshua.david-stein’s (typically oblivious) grubstreet.com rumination on SHO ShaunHergatt today reminds me all about my visit there last week.

unlike joshua.david-stein (who, undoubtedly, has never even been to SHO but dislikes it intensely anyway), i really loved it— it’s my newest favoritist restaurant since Grayz and Maze.

yah so
originally i tried to go on a sunday night but they’re closed sundays (just so you know). so i went on a monday instead.
since i figured it would be a slow night, i didn’t bother to make reservations or anything like that. i’d also heard SHO was “gigantic” and “dead” so that only added to my confidence i’d definitely get a decent table.

and i sure did all right!
oh lemme backtrack for a second. firstly, i wanna say SHO is really elegant. it can be kind of intimidating, because it’s so grand and plush and swankeroo and whatnot— but the hostess (or maitre d’ or whoever) is very professional in that she makes you feel welcomed right away. she doesn’t say any of the unexceptional asinine things like “can i hellllp you?” or “do you haaaave a reservation?” which is the type of stuffs (as a former “professional”) that drives me up a fucking wall.
she just smiles all warmly and sweetly. even when you imply you haven’t yet decided whether this joint is worthy of your benjamins and you just “want to have a drink” first.

on the other hand, the bartender, for some reason, is a little timid and apprehensive. maybe she’s new.

anyhoo. one look at the menu (enthralling and reasonably priced!) will likely convince you it could be worth at least a benjamin and a half. it convinced me, anyways.
luckily, the warm sweetly smiling hostess is all too happy to accommodate your impulsive, presumptuous, spontaneous, classless ass. so good for you!

as she walks you to your table, you (also a consummate “professional,” yes?) cannot help but notice— homegirl’s got it all going on. she does the whole bit: the contrivedly and painfully sloooow but confident gait, the occasional glance backward (are you dimwits still there? have i lost you? have you paused midway to to take a phonecall or some shit?), the meticulous care not to clatter the floorboards with those sky high laboutins.
god damn, who’s the service coordinator up in this muhfuh?
either these people are all graduates of the University of Three Star Service, or somebody’s been working overtime to train these bitches.

ya know— i could go on and on about every other staffer i encountered at SHO, but i think you get the picture. these people are the shit. i was really impressed.
they were attentive without being overbearing, experienced without the attitude [see: Batali/Bastianich, BR Guest], and knowledgeable without the arrogance. in short, they were pretty much every operator’s dream staff, no joke.

secondly: the food (?!) my gawd, the FOOD
didn’t miss a beat.
can i ask you something? when was the last time you had a decent “mixed vegetable” side? i don’t know bout you, but whenever i see “mixed vegetables” offered on the menu, i want to guffaw like a jackass and hurl the menu out the window.
but NOW, i can say i have had the perfect side of mixed vegetables that can possibly ever be executed.
maybe that will give you some indication how good the food was.

lastly, the only other thing i want to comment is how i didn’t mind at all having almost the entire dining room to myself, but i did thoroughly enjoy the conversation drifting over from the big loud “mafia” table right smack in the center. until they started talking about all their bar mitvahs and yom kippurs or whatever and then i felt pretty stupid for stereotyping them.

St. Supery – Cabernet Sauvignon 2003 – Napa Valley, California
Cost: $64/Bottle off the menu at Johnnie’s HideAway in Kissimmee, Florida (Retails for about $30 to $35/bottle)

Recommended by the waiter, this is my first taste of this winery, and I must say it was superb. This dark plum red colored wine is medium bodied with a smoky oak, burnt firewood nose that eventually reveals black currants, anise spice, blackberries, and vanilla extract. Dry but balanced keeps this wine open and tasty with a moderate finish. Lingering flavors along with the rather fruity nose and subtle hints of oak and anise are refreshing. Worth looking for when I get back home.

Rating: 91

HA HA HA HA HA HAH HAAH SNORT. That is all.

visit for a moment with our friend, James “Milkman” Mielke (NYC F&B industry veteran, talented dude, and all-around cool guy), won’t you ?

we love him lots, and we think you will too.

:)

It’s about time you watched Dinner Rush again. Remember Dinner Rush?

Dinner Rush is arguably one of the best films ever made about the restaurant industry. And do you know why? Because it was produced by restaurateurs / "industry veterans" Phil Suarez and Bob Giraldi (Giraldi directed, as well). As a matter of fact, look out for the character "Fitzgerald" the pompous art dealer (seemingly based on Larry Gagosian), and played by Mark Margolis— who just happens to look a lot like Phil Suarez.

Actually, the film has a lot of "characters" you’ll probably recognize. One of them is probably even you.

[ **Fun fact: One of Zainab Jah's acting credits is Bob Giraldi's 2000 resto cult-classic, Dinner Rush (co-produced by Phil Suarez).
On her way to audition for a small role in the film, Jah was curiously approached by a man who claimed to be "Jean-Georges's business partner", who remarked on the book Jah coincidentally happened to be reading at the time (and clutching in her arms)--- Jean-Georges's latest cookbook, Cooking at Home with a Four Star Chef.
That man turned out to be Bob Giraldi.
Zainab Jah scored the 2-minute, 1-line role of "Adrian" in Dinner Rush. ]

yesterday i got another one of those e-mails where peoples ask me random things like i actually know what the hells i’m talking about. (it’s really flattering!) so i decided every now and again i should answer a question out loud so i don’t have to answer it repeatedly, thereby admitting my ineptitude merely once instead of multiple times. yay!

Q: "what’s the deal with the hamptons? …is it really all that or is it all hype?"

A: i have no idea.

oh okay, some if it is “all that” and some of it is “hype.” there are nice houses in the hamptons so if you get to stay in one of those, the hamptons are pretty awesome. and the beaches are good. and it’s relaxing to get away sometimes— you have to jump in the ocean to get rid of evil spirits, you know. plus there’s an andre-balazs hotel there and who doesn’t love those?

the rest is eh. all the restaurants are kinda overpriced (i don’t know about the stores cuz i’ve never shopped there and i don’t also don’t know anything about the clubs— get serious). and there are only a few good ones at that. i think i have maybe been to about a dozen or so restaurants in the hamptons in my lifetime and there are only two i like: SantAmbroeus and Silver’s.

obviously you already know alls about SantAmbroeus. it’s pretty much the same at the beach, but the one at the beach has a gelato/dessert stand too. and everybody gets all dolled up after their day on the beach to go there. it’s expensive— more expensive than the one here in the city. and it’s pretty much the same type of crowd as you would expect (they even have some of the very same staff). i saw barbara-walters there once.

Silver’s is this great bistro type joint that serves delicious lobster rolls, and the bestest crab cake i have ever tasted in my life. they also have these monster sized burgers and BLTs and whatnot, but i’ve never tried any of those cuz i always order the same things (that other stuff looks good though). they have a good decently priced rosé by the bottle from provence too.
the only annoying thing about Silver’s is they stop seating at 3:30pm and they’re not open for dinner at all! what the hells.
the owner/chef is a really nice guy named gavin-ellins (?) oh geez i forget now i’ll have to ask again next time i’m there. his son works as a waiter in the dining room and he’s sweet too. sometimes the staff gets a little abrupt around closing time, but overall i think Silver’s is really great.
i guess they must do just fine only opening like three hours a day so good for them. but it is kind of a bummer.

that’s pretty much all i know about the hamptons.

[ from now ons, you can ask any questions you like in the brand new "just ask. just tell." section of The Forum @ PX This. membership/registration is not required for this section, so hopefully somebody out there will be able to answer your question better than i. hooray! ]

Just… wow.