PX This.

But you probably aready knew that from experience, right? Well, here’s even more confirmation.

Recently, former nightlife impresario Steve Lewis blogged about one of his many friends and acquaintances (as is his wont). Normally, his work is of the ‘take with a grain of salt’ nature – most preposterous and controvertible to those in and around the nightlife industry (comprehensibly), and most credible and tenable to – well, everyone else, I suppose (perceivably).

GoldBar’s Jon Lennon was the subject of the day on July 15, 2009. Steve Lewis’s article starts, "Nightclub 101: the door is everything." LOL! Yea, as you can well imagine, it only goes downhill from there.

The column proceeds with Lewis’s typical flotsam and bullshit jetsam, most notably in the precise words "consummate pro" to describe Doorman Lennon. It culminates with these sentiments, expressed by Lennon himself in a Q&A interview:

SL: Tell me how you educate a person.
JL: I just have a brief conversation with them. I even have taken people to the side to do it, where I say, I know you’re a nice guy, your girlfriend is very beautiful, your two friends I can’t do….

SL: You wake up in the morning and you’re doing the door, and you’re thinking…
JL: Always. That’s my personality anyway, thinking about it. I try to remember, “you’re a doorman, as much as you’re in a powerful position, you’re still just a doorman, you’re everyone’s equal.” It never gets to my head because I’d rather be a rock star…

From what I gather, this is where a certain reader (we happen to know) lost her shit. She addresses Steve Lewis via Facebook, stating:

[Abbe Diaz at 5:42pm July 15]
um, excuse me? "consummate pro"– OH RILLY.
sorry, i would never ever ever ever in a million years define telling a prospective patron [at 10PM]: "well, if he owns seven restaurants in manhattan then he can afford to take care of ME. is he asking ME for a favor? then he needs to take care of ME."
(and yes that’s a DIRECT QUOTE)
as the act of a "consummate pro."

The rest of the exchange, including Lennon’s (pedestrian and idiotic) response is here.

Yeah yeah, OK. A doorman is a stupid idiot. It’s because you couldn’t get in, right? Loser! What’s your point, Vanilla Ice? I’ve got the Media holding on Line 1, and they want to know where’s the newsflash already.

Hey, did you read the title? My point is Jon Lennon is a Tool Box. I just wanted to brag again about how brilliant I am (I’m also the "Trollai Llama" in case you didn’t know) and point out how absurdly, hilariously (and contemptibly) it all played out [scroll down the comments, starting with abbe diaz's on July 29, 2009 4:54PM].

L O fucking L. God bless teh internets.

Sunce Winery and Vineyard – Zinfandel 2007 , Sonoma County, California
Cost: $14.99/Bottle

It’s been quite awhile since a zinfandel impressed me to this extent. This Sunce Zinfandel really bowled me over. I tend to host wine tastings on Fridays in the afternoon… offering my co-workers an opportunity to taste wines. This event has now drawn folks with whom I work to bring their wines along as well to taste… and this one was introduced to me by a good friend and trader, named Mijo. This was utterly stunning. Initial notes of smoky oak and toast along with saddle leather evolve to reveal a luscious ripe raspberry and blueberry fruit which evolve again to include pie crust, graham crackers, and more raspberry jamminess, while always having that rather slight hint of leather and smoke lingering. In the mouth, it shows that ripe, lush fruit balanced with just the right level of glycerine, yet never being too sweet and with balanced tannins and acidity. This is quite impressive– and made from grapes sourced in the famous Russian River Valley in Sonoma. Worth seeking out, especially at $14.99 a bottle…. I bought a case the next day and opened up a second bottle with consistent notes. I would have no problems pairing this wine up with more expensive zinfandels costing in the $60 to $75 range, waiting to see eyes pop when it is revealed how this wine can easily blow the competition away. Oh my!

Rating: 94

Sure, you’ve already heard all about it, and maybe at this point you feel like you’ve already seen it.

Watch Food, Inc. anyway. If you’re in the F&B industry making a living off funneling things into other people’s mouths and stomachs, it is your duty and responsibility to learn as much as you can about the product you sell.

This has been a PX This Public Service Announcement. Thank you.

OMG the hipsters are taking over. ugh. gagh. blergh. BLECCCH.

last night was dinner at one of my favoritest places. and can you fucking believe it– one of my most UNfavoritest creepfaces on the planet was there. what the fuck. shouldn’t he be on a stoop or a rooftop or in some internet cafe or some shit in brooklyn somewheres? i mean– SURELY the west village is too bourgeois for him, no? GO AWAY JERKHEAD.

yah so
there i am trying to enjoy my dinner at my regular weekly haunt when, lo and behold, who should come and plop his dorky ass at the table right behind me. gabriel "dweebface" snyder. nice sneakers, scrotumhead. whassa matter– Goodwill was out of Hush Puppies?

so right away (after i suppress the bile bubbling forth and ingurgitate my cud and overcome my gag reflex and roll my eyes into my head) i say to my date: "eew. that’s gabriel snyder." and then i explain who gabriel snyder is.

my date responds: "ohhhh… should i say something to him?" and starts to rise out of his seat.
but i stop him.

why?

because (aside from the fundamental axiom he shouldn’t fight my battles for me) gabriel-snyder just happens to be sitting with richard-johnson, paula-froelich, corynne-steindler, chris-wilson, tom-sykes, and a half dozen other gawd only knows who elses. in other words, ya know– i was suddenly overwhelmed by visions of an imperial shihtzu in a pool of piranhas, if you hear what i’m sayin.

some other time, gabriel-snyder.
BITE ME, BITCH.

** See also: The UPDATE on Gabriel Snyder**

Robert Pattinson filming Remember Me at Washington Square Park

Chateau St. Michelle – Cabernet Sauvignon 2005
Cost: $31/bottle at Bonefish Grill (retails $12-$15 at wineshops)

Medium bodied with a rather dark ruby color that becomes nearly purple in the center. Silky smooth with soft tannins and an aroma of black cherry, vanilla, and a note of damp earth. With time in the glass, the aromas become more pronounced but with a hint of celery and a touch of oak. In the mouth, it has decent tannins and acids and with perhaps just enough fruit to keep you interested. Still it appeared and tasted rather monotone having that earthy feel to the wine, which made it a bit awkward. I will admit that matching with Bonefish Grill’s famous Bang Bang Shrimp and Chilean Sea Bass with their spicy and rather salty chimichurri sauce overwhelmed the wine at certain points of the evening, but if anything, it should have been an advantage due to its fruit and sweetness. In this instance, it was not. Tasted plain and quite frankly flat at some points. Rating: 82